This pen pulls tears straight from my heart. Only vulnerable with words on paper. The verse says poems don’t heal. I retreat. A war waged between the hater in my head and the creator in my heart. Line my soul with armor, a safe space to accept me from within. Own who I am.
I read an article that says our success is dependent only on what we can do for others.
I’m only good at my job if I can produce the work they need. I’m only good at my friendships if I can give them the support they need. I’m only good at love if I can fulfill my lover’s needs.
It doesn’t matter if I’m a loving, moral, kind person.
It doesn’t matter if I treat you with respect or love you.
All that matters is what I can give you.
This makes me so sad.
Our intrinsic value is twisted completely into our product, our production.
Capitalism takes over our souls so all that is left is commodity.
This is not a path I want to follow.
A successful relationship is dependent on what I can give and not how I love.
I don’t see how my soul can be sustained.
I’ve walked this path before – great at producing for my job and all the material things in my life
I produced and produced until I was at death’s door.
I’m going to go a different way.
If focusing on being kind and loving in my relationships with others and myself
Keeps me from fitting into this capitalist society
So be it. I’ll be strange. I don’t want to fit in.
I don’t believe in any religion, but I believe in love.
I believe that God is love.
In moments where I focus on kindness and love in relationships without requiring a product produced,
those are the moments I find God.
I hope you won’t be afraid to enter into relationship with me
Explore love and let go of everything that we produce
To find ourselves on a different path.
I look, but I’m not sure I see
The outer surface, the temporal illusion
I want to see more, to see the atomic layer
But I don’t know how to love enough
To see each atom and how each atom moves to become you
To let my eyes and soul absorb your energy
So I can view you more clearly
But I don’t know how to love enough
Van Gogh didn’t paint sunflowers, cherry trees, and night skies
He painted love. He could see all the way to the soul.
He saw the atoms dance in those sunflowers, trees, and skies.
Van Gogh knew how to love. But I don’t know how to love enough
I try to look, to see, to connect, to understand
What I create is childlike, lacking depth and emotion
My love is still in its infancy, simple and plain
When I look at Van Gogh’s painting, I know there is more
I want to learn how to love enough
Bag People, we are.
My brain is flat and all the planets and Sun revolve around it.
The tempest has made herself known
She calls you in with crystal blue clarity and radiant sunlight
Her beauty blinds you to the danger as she screams down the mountain
First, your little birdhouse loses the shingles off the roof
Then, a tree falls and crushes the walls and the ice cold wind swirls within
The tempest blasts your little birdhouse apart
She knows her power and tricks you to trust her
But all she really wants is to blow your soul apart
There is no reason for me to think about a job.
There is no reason for me to think about a boyfriend.
There is no reason for me to think about my future.
There is no reason for me to worry about my past.
All I have to do is see the world around me and watch the leaves change.
There is nothing I can do about my life back home.
All I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride.
It’s freeing to let it all go. I’ve never been able to do it before. I was always stuck in the middle of my life.
This journey has let me step away and just enjoy the moment. Hopefully, this gift and learning will stay with me always.
I’m not young, but I’m not old
I finally witnessed the stars today
From horizon to horizon they stretched out in layer upon layer
Gazing across the past, I’m struck by the immenseness of it all.
Just a minute speck of stardust trying to get by.
I’m taking up the long lost art of sending handwritten love notes on my journey! I would love for you get one of these heartfelt notes! All you have to do is fund my kickstarter campaign for the $10.00 reward! https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1961096389/crellims-cross-country-adventure